i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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