i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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