I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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