One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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