If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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