I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize