Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
