Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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