I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
