I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
