Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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