why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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