I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
