Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so let's talk penis.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize