I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize