U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i am craving dick and cupcakes
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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