Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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