Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
MIDGETS
????
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
