awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
