Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
