i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
