I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I see more hoeing in ur future
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
