how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
