I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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