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• (310): View more from California

  I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  He meets the coolest people when he's drunk

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• (716): View more from New York

  Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.

  (585): View more from New York

  If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground

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• (845): View more from New York

  You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  how about your cousin?

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• (408): View more from California

  the raccoons are back...

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