Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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