Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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