I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
