There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
