Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
