my sisters under your porch take her home
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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