I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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