:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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