it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
