Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize