so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
