This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize