do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
