ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
