you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
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