OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
