Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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