eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
