my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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