Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
