Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize