Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
