I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
