Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
