We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
