i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
