im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I FOUND THE LEGS
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
