Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
