Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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