Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
