I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
