I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
