where does the pee come out of this thing
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
