just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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