it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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