One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
