I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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