If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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