hell yes lets make some ravioli
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
