I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
