Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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