Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
