I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
