Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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